Let's talk about sex

Is there a way to build an adult entertainment industry that doesn't suck so much? I think so.

This email is going to be about sex. But before we get to that...

Gooooood morning to each and every one of you incredible and irreplaceable members of this community. I would hug all 2,489 of you if I could.

The outpouring of love and support you showed Josh and me after my last email announcing Thinking Is Cool has been nothing short of dreamy. If you’re new, read this or watch this to get up to speed. If you’re pressed for time, this is Thinking Is Cool in a nutshell: It’s my forthcoming show that’s guaranteed to make your next conversation better than your last.

It’s a podcast, a newsletter, and a way of life. The podcast starts May 17, the way of life starts whenever you feel like it, and the newsletter starts...today. Right now. This is it.

Let me explain. I want each podcast episode to answer the questions you have about the topic of the week. I know what intrigues me, but what intrigues all of you? That’s where this newsletter comes in—I’ll give you an explanation of the topic du jour, explain why I can’t stop thinking about it, and open the floor to questions, comments, and ideas from all of you.

That way, each episode will be chock-full of specific questions and answers inspired by you, your ideas, and your POVs. Bespoke podcasting, if you will. Because this is a community that would be nothing without you—that’s why I’m making podcasts with you in mind.

So...if you’re reading this newsletter, you can count on both 1) a great time and 2) a look at upcoming podcast topics every week. Want to share this with your friends, enemies, or anyone else? I’d love it if you hit forward. If you’re on the receiving end of that forward? Smash this MF subscribe button.

So without further ado, welcome to the first Thinking Is Cool blog. Let’s rock.

Go Thank Your Local P*rn Star

Season 1 of Thinking Is Cool will be 10 episodes long. If you’ve ever had a conversation with me (or, let’s be honest, read this newsletter) you know neither brevity nor decision-making are strengths of mine. So you can only imagine how difficult it was to choose but 10 topics I consider generation-defining for our first run of episodes.

There were three topics I insisted on including from day one, though, and you’re fixing to read all about the first: the modern p*rn industry. And FYI, I’m not writing that word (p-o-r-n) with an asterisk because it’s a bad word—I’m writing it that way because I want this email to make it past your inbox’s prudish filtering system. I’m not happy about it, but that’s show biz.

Let’s talk about p*rn. Questions I expect from you and have already fielded from numerous advisers and friends whom I’ve told about launching Thinking Is Cool with an adult entertainment episode:

1. Are you sure?

2. Are you okay?

3. Why?

My answers:

1. Yes.

2. Never better.

3. Because just about everyone uses p*rn. Almost no one pays for it. Definitely no one talks about it openly. Money’s being made, but I’m not sure who’s making it. The list goes on—that would pique your curiosity, too.

There’s also this: For too long, we’ve cast the p*rn industry aside without truly thinking through how profoundly impactful it is—on the advent of the creator economy, on the development of consumer technology, on the role of regulators, etc. And while I know most of us have consumed p*rn in some capacity...I’m not sure if enough of us recognize how flippant that consumption can be, myself included.

I want to explore the p*rn industry from the inside out in an effort to comprehend the ways we can engineer a better, fairer, more ethical approach to...ya know...getting our rocks off (drink every time I use an out-of-date sexual euphemism).

Because we all do it. How great would it be if we could do it without putting adult performers and creators in harm’s way?

That brings me to an important first point, one that’ll get fleshed out more completely in the episode itself: Today’s p*rn industry titans have built both their monopolies and fortunes on the backs of performers, rarely acknowledging those performers’ indispensable role in the creation of adult entertainment and even more rarely paying them for it fairly.

Simply put, if you consume free p*rn online on sites like P*rnhub (you have, I have, we all have), the chances are high that the people who created that content got paid very little, if anything at all, to do it. And doing it is hard work. 

• It’s part of this complicated and deeply entrenched p*rn industrial complex—because we consider p*rn to be taboo (we shouldn’t), it’s become increasingly difficult for those undervalued by the industry to fight for their rights (they should) against giant monopolies.

• To quote one of my guests for this episode, “Fuck P*rnhub.”

Here’s a sneak peek of a line from the episode:

“The p*rn industry is a parable for the modern economy: In p*rn, during digital boom times like right now, greed begets more greed at the top, which in turn burns the working class...and eventually, the consumer, too. 

I’ll explain more in just a moment, but know this: The adult entertainment industry can teach us countless lessons—lessons in botched creator empowerment, grotesque failure to protect users, and the power vacuum left for disruptors to fill. But it could happen anywhere in our modern economy. Put a little more bluntly: Mark Zuckerberg...I hope you’re listening.”

So why and how have we as consumers let it get to this point? That’s what I can’t stop thinking about.

We’re all about ethical consumption these days. We shop local, avoid fast fashion, take out the recycling, drink oat milk (or at least talk about doing all those things). We posture endlessly about protecting people who make things in our modern economy, but we’ve overlooked those creating content that gets mentally sent to the spam folder...p*rn.

Adult content creators don’t get the same support we’d offer other participants in the creator economy. I mean, how many times have you publicly rooted for a podcast host who left her job because she wanted more control over her craft and better compensation for it? Or liked and RT’d as someone took Substack or Apple to task over the share those platforms take of creators’ profits? 

Well, Apple’s 30% fee doesn’t look so bad when you consider that there are no residuals in p*rn and most jobs pay under $1,000 for a video that could be viewed billions of times. Imagine if we told Larry David or Jerry Seinfeld they were capped at making $1,000 per episode of Seinfeld no matter how many times dudes in their late 20s made binging the series their whole personality. It would be bananas, and yet we systemically tell adult performers just that.

Think about your life without creators—you wouldn’t have Thinking Is Cool, p*rn, TikTok, newsletters, Instagram discounts...it would suck. And without further action, that’s a potential reality in p*rn. That’s why we need to create a p*rn industry that works as well for the p*rn stars as it does for the people who watch them. Ethical, enjoyable, safe, and fair.

Here’s the good news: We can do that. All is not lost. We actually do have better options than the abysmal trench of despair that is P*rnhub (yes okay that is warranted I’ll explain more in the episode just listen to it).

The background: P*rnhub has been around since 2007, back when I was drowning myself in Abercrombie & Fitch Fierce cologne because I thought wearing a men’s scent made me seem like a cool girl. Clearly, a lot has changed since then, and not just because I’ve switched to Jo Malone Lime Basil & Mandarin cologne.

• The internet has evolved to an almost unrecognizable state, and with it, innovation has followed. The p*rn industry hasn’t been insulated from that innovation—in fact, it’s participated in it pretty meaningfully.

I’m talking, of course, about OnlyFans. And I know if any OnlyFans employees are reading this, you’ll email me saying that OnlyFans is a platform for anyone to connect to their audience, not just adult entertainers. To which I will respond with this: Yes, but you can’t ignore the fact that your booming business was built by enterprising adult entertainers and sex workers signing on as early adopters.

If we consider the biggest issues of free p*rn on these so-called tube sites like P*rnhub, we’re talking about issues of consent, monopolization, and compensation...issues OnlyFans appears to assuage, at least at the surface level.

• Consent: You sign up to create content on OnlyFans. You set the rate you’d like to charge for subscriptions. I’ve heard about some difficulty getting content deleted once you quit the platform, but for the most part, the creator is in control.

• Monopolization: OnlyFans is big (revenue was about $390 million last year thanks to 120 million users). But it’s not P*rnhub big (its parent company registered $460 million in revenue in 2018 with 115 million visitors every single day).

• Compensation: It’s hard to make money on OnlyFans without making it your full-time job, but it’s not impossible. The adult performers I spoke with for this episode said subscription-based platforms are better and more reliable than the rate-based pay of shooting scenes for sites like P*rnhub.

But...there’s always a but. OnlyFans might not be the savior for which we’ve hoped. What if it’s actually just as bad as the very platforms it’s looking to disrupt? There are major red flags that need addressing if we really want to make porn suck less. Listen on May 17 to hear why, how, and where you come in.

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So far, my research for this episode has taken me places. I’ve spoken with a p*rn star, a p*rn entrepreneur, many p*rn consumers, and a p*rn producer. I’ve slid into too many DMs to count (Mia Khalifa if you’re reading this, there’s still time to get you in the episode). I’ve gone into a rabbit hole of artificial intelligence p*rnography and what it means for consent. I’ve briefly considered attempting to sell feet pics. I’ve completed the truly difficult task of exploring a great deal of the p*rn our World Wide Web has to offer.

And now, I’m taking it to all of you. Already, you can expect this episode to explore the ways in which we can create a more ethical, more enjoyable p*rn industry for both consumers and creators. I’ll talk about the role of regulators, everyday people like us, and the platforms to which we turn for...fine, I’m just gonna say it: that video of Jay Alvarrez with the coconut oil and the kettle and the Missy Elliot song.

But I want to know what else you’re thinking about as you consider the future of p*rn. What intrigues you? What keeps you up at night? What questions would you ask an expert? What questions would you ask me?

Has p*rn changed the way you interpret sex or sexuality in your real life? Do you think ethical p*rn exists? Do you care if you find your p*rn ethically? Why or why not?

Have you ever read or listened to or watched something about p*rn and thought “wow I just got so much smarter” after? Send it my way.

The ask is this: hit respond. Tell me what you want to know about p*rn and its future and its impacts on the world around us. I’ll do my best to get you an answer.

’Til next time,

Kinsey

P.S. It’s cool to think out loud and ask questions in public. Pipe in on Twitter with me here.

Also, if you have any cloud pictures HMU. I’m running low on ethereal photos for email preview images. Count yourself lucky I didn’t make it one of these for today’s blog.

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